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I miss her in the office and our after-work outings. I miss feeding her and buying her drinks. I miss sheltering her in secret motel, playing records for her and making sure she has enough blankets and pillows for a long, comfortable rest.

Recently, I had a dream in which I visited her while she worked behind a reception desk. I said something that she really appreciated. "Don't move," she said. She then stood, leaned across the counter, and kissed me on the mouth. I felt so good in the dream. And so alone when I woke up. I thought about telling her about the dream--I don't think I will.

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