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easy listening

1. I like going to bed early and waking up early in a dark room, the air so quiet. I can listen for things. I've been good, this week. Have not had a cheat day since last Saturday. Yesterday was a struggle. The city was very hot. I resisted the nagging urge to pick up cold beer on my way home from work. Sobriety helps me listen for things.

2. We lived in that house for three years. The one with the pool. I was four years old when we moved in and seven years old when we moved out. I did not know how to swim. But I crept outside at night, after everyone else was asleep. I taught myself to sleep, without drowning, at the bottom of the pool. This practice made my dreams more dream-like. I relied on dreams to teach me about the world--albeit in a distorted way. I quit sleeping underwater, once I realized it hampered my ability to listen. I learned more about the world by just sitting out on the grass and listening to the sky. And my family stopped complaining that I smelled like chlorine at the breakfast table.

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