home | | | | | |archive | | | | | |profile | | | | | |notes | | | | | |previous | | | | | |next

abolish sorrow

Enjoying some wine, this evening. Mostly sticking to my weekend evenings thing. But I cheat a little, here and there. Not much. It's important to me to stay on track and maintain a healthy yet enjoyable balance.

Last night, after work, I visited one of the neighborhood liquor stores I haven't patronized since--late August, I guess. I used to visit that place two or three times a week. "I haven't seen you in a while," the clerk said. "Did you go on vacation?"

"No," I said. "I--uh--I don't drink as much as I used to."

"That's all right."

That was an awkward exchange. I felt weird, as if I had exposed some personal frailty of mine. But that's fine, I guess.

These days, I seem less prone to prolonged bouts of anxiety, depression, and/or rage. Now I'm more likely to take note of it and fight it out of my head. Or not even fight it--just identify the point of origin and refuse to care about it. I refuse that shit. I kill it and feed it to my tranquility. My tranquility expands.

Man, I hope I make this last.

And I hope Low puts out a new record soon. It's been two years since "Ones and Sixes". They're about due, I think.

previous | next