he just isn't here anymore
I had some half-conversations today. In my office. With women I like. I am getting worse with age. These conversations get more awkward and unpleasant. I give up. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Especially those who are especially nice. I am going to speak less, fold into myself even further. And drink more. I give up. I will now focus on my incremental disappearance. I will disappear so slowly, so gradually, that the few people who might note my sudden disappearance will not notice when I am fully gone.