2. R. and IL have come and gone. At this point, I'm not sure what to make of either of them. You haven't really gotten to know someone until you realize just how truly little you know or understand that person. I did manage to get them both in the same room for a picture with me. I'm not big on pictures but I figured that this would probably be the only time the three of us are in the same town at the same time. So I had to try to make that happen. And it happened. I look so happy in that picture. Now I find it painful to look at. I think about their lives at this point and the choices they have made and are about to make. I wish I could change things for both of them and make everything better. But I've also come to realize that they figure much brighter in my mind than I appear in either of their's. I'm always going to end up alone with my own heart and my own mind. And that's where I have to make my peace.