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2011-01-02
forget


It's the end of the world outside. A world that shifts from black, to dark grey, to light grey, then to dark grey, and then black. The parking lot attendant is comatose in his little glass booth at the end of the world. I wrap more bandages around my fingers to protect them from the wind and the cold. I paid a creature for a blowjob in a bus station bathroom stall. She had cracked lips and bottomless eyes. She worked my cock with her dry hand and her dry mouth while staring up at me through all the failing light. The floor tiles were wet. The toilet was overflown. I came inside her mouth. I felt no pleasure. I paid her her money. She laughed at me. She grabbed her cane and hobbled out of the bathroom. I washed my hands three times in the sink. There was no hot water. I could not get clean. I went outside. I stood in dirty grey light. The parking attendant was still comatose in his glass booth across the way. I searched for a church. I looked for a liquor store. I relaxed my existence and fell into a failing light, a prolonged moment in which I could forget if not be forgiven.


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