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2009-05-12
in nervous circles


No more. Please. No more. I sit on a park bench. In the shade. There is a patch of light next to me, a break in the trees. I put my hand there. Please. The faces at the far end of the day. No more. I put my hand there. I said please. I said it at the far end of the day. I say nothing in a patch of light. I put my hand there. No more. I open my hand. I close it. I say please. In a patch of light. Next to me. The faces are bobbing in the distance. No more. I want the sun to open and close. I want a fistful of rain. To fall through the light. Please. I'm so scared of myself. Beside this patch of rain. My hand opening and closing with the day. I said please. Everyone has gone away. I'm alone between light and rain. No more. I can smell the trees. And the damp wood of this bench. It takes forever. To say no more. Forever. To open and close my hand. For the sun to move the rain away. And the shade. I open the day. I close it again. And say please. No more. Who put the people away. Someone is taken. Someone goes away. I left to come here. To say please. No more. I can't leave. Until my hand is done opening and closing. Until every drop of rain has hit the grass. I scoot over. So some drops might hit my head. I said please. No more. Even the shade is wet. I pinned a picture to the tree. Someone I used to know. No more. Please. Put the face away. My hand opens. There's no one in the distance. I scoot over into a patch of light. I take a face from the tree. Please. The hand is nearly closed. And my life. Please. Tell me there's a face in the light. No more. I said the word open. I stick to this patch of light. Sun illuminates the rain. Please don't shine on the distance. I don't want to know there's nothing there. Take a face from the tree. Watch it open in the shade. Please. This bench has been here for centuries. I will be here forever. Because my life is closed. Please. Take a face in the rain. Someone I used to know. Before it closed. No more. In this patch of light. Between the rain. I said please. My hand is open. The face is gone. Pin a picture to the distance. No more. I shake in this patch of light. Between the rain and the trees. Nothing in the distance. But please. My hand is open. My life is closed. In this patch of light. Without a face in the distance. Between the rain and the trees.


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