secret motel

R. has decided to not go to Vietnam. She and D. are now looking for an apartment to share here in the city. I thought R. lived in my neighborhood but she actually lives and works on a catholic retreat way the fuck out in the east bay hills. She took me out there last Sunday. She told me, on the way, all the qualities she's looking for in a man. 'Wow,' I thought to myself, 'she's looking for someone who's my polar opposite.' But it was nice to get out of the city for an afternoon. We exited this isolated little BART station and took R.'s car through winding green hills into the trees. She had some work-related matters to attend to, so I hung out in her office, reading a book and listening to chorale music.

I have been very sociable lately, meeting up with D. and R. in the evenings and on the weekends.

That may change.

I had dinner with them Friday night. R. and I had a heated exchange over economic systems and the proper role of government, something we had never discussed before. The whole thing took me by surprise. She vehemently attacked capitalism and individualism. And I vehemently defended them. She seemed really angry! "You're very individualistic," she said, as if that's a bad thing. "We're on this planet to serve others. Government has to address inequality and redistribute wealth."

"We?" I asked. "What do you mean, 'we'? You don't define my purpose for me. And what you call redistribution of wealth, I call theft."

Then the humor of the discussion registered with me as I realized she was arguing from the position of a "catholic communist" and I was a "godless capitalist." I laughed about it. She shook her head, clearly disgusted with me.

We changed the topic and cooled down. We still hugged each other at the end of the evening, but I think we both view each other in a much different light now.